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A Screwtape Curriculum

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My Dear Headmaster,

I am flattered and humbled to find that my proposed curriculum has attracted much attention, even so much as to pique the interest of Screwtape himself. I am proud to say that these methods have yielded excellent results in America, and I believe they would prove useful in training up our youth at Underworld University. Allow me to highlight the core classes and summarize each of them briefly for your consideration. I have thousands of success stories to back the effectiveness of these techniques, and I would be happy to appear before the committee to present the ideas personally. Paired with other standard core classes such as Complacency and Entitlement, I assure you, these make a deadly combination that many in the Enemy’s clutches cannot resist. So without further ado, here are my recommendations.

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How to Scare Kids Away from Church

“What can we do to get younger people involved at our church?”  Have you ever heard or asked those words?  I hate to break it to you, but if indeed you’ve been searching for new methods to draw people in, you’re probably achieving the opposite effect.  I’ll let you in on a dirty little secret.  If you want to make sure your kids won’t continue going to church once they get older, there’s a surprisingly easy method to follow.

1.)  Tell them church is fun and exciting and relevant.

2.)  Dumb it down to reinforce that point.

Continue reading “How to Scare Kids Away from Church”

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